Unpopular opinion, perhaps, but when someone self-declares themselves as a hot mess, it makes me cringe.
Yet, we see it all the time. The hashtag “hot mess” has been used on Instagram over a million times.
Declaring, or even thinking, that you are a hot mess is totally defeating. It’s like you are putting on a brave face, by telling the world you don’t give a rip, yet you are labelling yourself which keeps you from having to reach for more or, more accurately, from wanting more.
I know this “hot mess” feeling. I know it well. But sometimes we use trendy words without even realizing how much they play with our subconscious and keep us playing small.
What does “hot mess” mean to you? What is the woman who says this actually feeling? Tired, wiped, barely holding on, needing a break, wishing she could feel like she’s got it all together, wanting to be energized and organized.
This woman feels like there isn’t enough of her to go around, yet the Instagram photos would have her book-ending her day with “can’t function without coffee” and pouring a glass of red in the evening, talking about the crazy mom life, sporting a messy bun, and a cute oversized sweatshirt that says something witty, all while being praised for “keeping it real” and being relatable.
Why is that more accepted than her saying, I’m really overwhelmed these days, but I know it will get better. I’m doing what I can and being gentle with myself.
Don't get me wrong, I like coffee and I enjoy a good glass of merlot once in a while. I get it, but we are missing the point with this surface level stuff that is actually hiding some bigger stuff.
It’s a crappy feeling to feel scattered and exhausted, but sometimes we announce it as a form of community building. It’s like saying, hey all you other tired, overwhelmed women out there! I’m here! Let’s be this way together, so that it feels better.
But does it? When you are down, does it feel better to be around others who are down or does it just feel more comfortable and safe? When you are exhausted and depleted, does it feel energizing to focus on it? Do you want to be in it longer, or do you want to move through it?
Let me be clear, I don’t think we always need to be pushing to be great, quite the opposite actually. I do not believe in hustle culture whatsoever. I believe strongly in healing and rest and honouring our feelings, but I do believe in refining ourselves and being resourceful in finding ways to feel better, to feel uplifted, to feel balanced and to feel peace. I believe that we are meant to thrive and that life ebbs and flows. We go through seasons of rest and hibernation, seasons of visibility and growth and seasons of abundance and flow.
You are not “a mess”. You are so much more even if you are feeling like you are in a mess or feeling messy, or feeling messed up…it’s not who you are. It is an experience you are having.
It’s an experience we’ve all had, but it doesn’t have to be something you label yourself as, and you can choose a different experience.
Imagine going to a conference and women could choose either “hot mess” as their name tag or “divine being”, what do you think most would choose?
What would you choose?
How would each of those options feel? How would you show up differently with each of those options?
If you are going to declare something about yourself, let it be the truth of what’s really inside. That’s keeping it real. That’s showing up fully for your life. That’s being in gratitude for another day on this earth.
It’s time to start raising the bar for our well-being, wouldn’t you say?
I’d say so. We are meant for so much more.
With so much love and belief for what’s possible for you,
Tina xo
Ps. And if you are feeling like you have no idea how to go from a “hot mess” in survival mode, to a divine being that is thriving, you need to be in the Glow with Your Flow program.
I show you the path to feeling good again, to understanding yourself, to having better relationships with yourself and others, to remembering the truth of who you really are, to clarity, peace and balance for you specifically.
Want to make a change? Check it out here. Our next round starts April 18th and it is currently $200 off, for a limited time!
WHY AM I SO TIRED?
I want to offer a new perspective on one of THE MOST common phrases we all hear and say almost on the daily.
Is there more to it than just lack of sleep or improper diet? What about those who eat right, exercise and sleep okay and are otherwise healthy, but something still isn’t right. I’m not talking about those with a sleep disorder or underlying health issue, just the majority of humans who feel “exhausted” most of the time.
When you say you feel so tired, what do you actually mean? I can assume you have “low energy”. What if rather than just feeling physically low in energy, you considered “low frequency energy”. Yes, that’s right. How you feel emotionally can directly affect your physical state. Most people think, I’m cranky because I’m tired. What if you feel tired, because you are cranky?
How you feel emotionally is always a reflection of the thoughts you keep thinking. If you are thinking a lot of negative (low frequency) thoughts, you will feel the negative emotions. If you are focused on problems, or something that you want, but don’t have, you experience lack and negative emotion.
The same is true on the positive side. If you are thinking about all the things you appreciate about your life, you will feel the positive emotion. You will feel more excited and energized.
If you focus on all that you appreciate, the possibilities out there, good people around you, it would be pretty hard to not feel invigorated.
So, what to do if you are feeling “low vibe”?
First check out the Emotional Guidance Scale to assess the current emotions you're feeling here. From there you can see what the next best feeling emotion would be so that you can actually recognize when you are moving up the scale and are feeling better energetically.
The following are a few quick ideas to start raising your energy.
- Think of someone you care about. When you focus on someone who is easy to love, you open up your heart and start to feel a shift toward happiness.
- Meditate. Meditation will keep you from focusing on the past or future and centre you in the present moment. It can also calm your anxiety and has so many other health benefits that collectively raise your vibe.
- Watch an uplifting show or listen to music that makes you happy. The way we consume content can really affect our mood, good or bad. Take control of what you allow into your head and start to notice how you feel in your body when you are watching something, listening to a song or scrolling on Instagram.
- Assess your friend circle. You need to guard your relationships because spending time with low-vibe, negative people can only bring more of that in your life. If your friends are uplifting and encouraging this will add to the collective mood, raise your vibe and add to the quality of your life.
- Connect with Mother Nature. Nature is deeply healing and can really invigorate you and your spirit. Get outside even for a few minutes a day.
- Breathe in or diffuse high quality essential oils - citrus oils always help to bring on a happy heart.
Sending you nothing but high vibes,
Tina xo
What are some of the ways you raise your vibration and get to a better feeling mood? Let us know in the comments.
You’ve heard it a million times. DO WHAT YOU LOVE. Heck, I say it often, “do more of what you love”. I could think of so many things that I enjoy doing now, but it wasn’t always that way.
There was a time that I couldn’t even hear what my heart wanted. I didn’t really have anything I felt passionately about. I didn’t have any hobbies that I enjoyed. I was just going through the motions. I would dabble here and there, but that was about it. No time to really care about that stuff.
Is this you? Are you like, what the heck do I even want to do with myself when I have 15 minutes to spare?
Growing up, I never knew what I wanted to do. I know many people know what they wanted to be as a little girl, but that just wasn’t me. I’ve learned that I couldn’t hear my dream because it wasn’t safe to dream. I didn’t feel supported and I didn’t have high hopes. Dreaming big would have only led to disappointment, so my mind didn’t go there.
If you can relate to this, perhaps you walked a similar path to what I did. I chose the wrong relationships and didn’t have healthy boundaries and just went through the motions telling myself I was "content".
It’s so easy to tell ourselves we are happy keeping it simple and content with very little because it’s an easy way out. I felt this way and always said, I just go with the flow. This was true, but I knew deep down it was more than that.
I had this feeling that I was meant for something more, but it was such a faint whisper. Always with me, but never loud enough for me to really hear. Being a wife and mother was the only dream I had ever had. I had accomplished that and was living it every day, but outside of that, I felt stalled at work. I felt untapped. The question remained, what the heck was I meant to do?
Fast forward to present day, and my dreams and ideas of what is possible actually keep me up at night. In the BEST way. So how did I find them?
I DECIDED it was important to me and that I was ready to hear them.
Then, I made space for them.
We are so busy “being busy”. Telling ourselves we don’t have time, and that we are fine as things are, but we are tired and overwhelmed. Here a some suggestions that have made a HUGE difference in my life.
Learn to quiet your mind.
Seriously, if you can’t hear your dream, you need to press PAUSE on life. Take 5 minutes and sit quietly without distractions to hear what your own thoughts are.
Stop soaking in so much content.
Facebook, Instagram, YouTube – they are amazing resources and are entertaining, but they are full of other people fulfilling their dreams. You need to quiet the noise. Stop the scroll and think about what type of content you actually enjoy to look at or listen to. These are clues.
Learn to meditate.
For me, meditation has been the biggest key to help me create bandwidth. 20 minutes a day has changed my life. My brain used to be on overload, but I knew I had to release thoughts to uncover what made me light up. Meditation gives me PEACE and slows the momentum of the crazy days with three kids, work, etc.
Stop watching useless, random shows.
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy TV. Always have enjoyed the escape and turning off my brain, but it wasn’t getting me anywhere. We don’t have a limitless amount of time on this earth and I would never want to waste the precious gift of life on back-to-back Netflix marathons week after week.
Instead, fill the gaps of time with reading, journaling, meditating, moving my body, personal development. Those are actually things I enjoy and they give me clarity. They also fill me up, so that I can have more to pour into my family. Which, to me, is a life well lived.
What time-wasters could you eliminate to make space for growth? What could you do to quiet the noise? That little voice IS inside of you, I challenge you to want to hear it and listen.
For more good stuff on how to create an inspired life and make space for your dreams, check out my free guide to uncover and inspire your BEST self.
Tina xo
Here it is. It’s super simple.
You need to stop worrying that it won’t happen and start believing that it will.
You’ve heard the saying, “worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace”. This is so true, but just as important, it takes you further and further from what you want.
When we worry, we move toward negative emotion. Worrying about what we don’t want to happen keeps us attracting more of what we don’t want. It’s a never-ending cycle and you will surely not move closer to your dreams this way.
So now that you know what NOT to do, here’s what to do instead.
TRUST. Trust that all that you have ever wanted is known. You don’t need to ask anymore and you don’t need to worry.
You know you are super powerful, right? You know that you are co-creating EVERY experience you have, right?
Everything that you have ever wanted, whether you said it out loud or not, sent a message out to the Universe, like a message in a bottle. You have an ocean of bobbing bottles with messages just waiting to be delivered. The way for your messages to be received is to be happy BEFORE they are read. You know the feeling when things are going well and you feel energetic, ideas are flowing and everything feels smooth and like it’s all working out. That is when you are “floating your cork”. When you are in that zone, your messages are being delivered. Your role is to be open to opportunities as they come your way and to be appreciative of your current experience.
Find the joy and gratitude in the present moment. Dance, sing, laugh, do things you love more often. Stay in the flow of positive energy and momentum. This is the quickest way to attract the things you want.
Relax, be easy about it and remember that things are always working out for you. It may not always seem that way, but why not TRUST and enjoy life in the meantime? "Miracles" can happen.
Tina xo
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